How do you tame a tantrum?  First read Analysis of a Tantrum.   Kids are far more aware of your thinking and responses than you realize.   They know the backdoor to your thinking.  They can by pass your logic.  How ? Because they’ve checked out all of the ways in which you respond to them.  They know your words, your moods, what is urgent in your mind and what your triggers are.  They know how to shut you off.

It’s all part of their relationship with you.  They are learning about how to interact.  They do not clearly understand their motives. They are only filled with their want, need,  and/ or folly.    We programmed them from day one to interact with us.  Watch any parent with a child.  We goo, make funny faces, and make all kinds or ridiculous noises, faces to get them to play with us…. to acknowledge us.  We were the first manipulators.    We trained them to interact and get a response from us.

So what do we do not with this “problem” that we partially made?

1.   We are the parent whose job is to guide children’s thinking and help them understand how to communicate effectively as opposed to manipulatively.  Yes, innocent children are self-centered and need parental direction to learn how to empathize rather than surmise how to use parental responses to their selfish gain or control over situations that should be parent directed.

2.   Confidence that the parent knows what is best.

3.   We don’t give in.

4.   We set the limit either through directives, separation and or other effective action.

5.   We win…  Don’t be the first one to flinch,.. We go the distance.

6.   Hold your ground.

7.   Most children will stop doing something if it doesn’t work.

8.  We set the limit of their choices.   Trying to manipulate mom or dad in a negative way will not work.    Remember, what really is a tantrum.