Who watches who the most?  After working in residential programs for years I can tell you that the “watchers are often the watched”.   If some one controls my life I’m sure gona to keep an eye on them.   We often see kids as not paying attention but actually they see the things that matter or interest them the most.  Even my dog can predict when I go to the kitchen.

Why is this so important?    kids catch from us not only our behavior but also our inner thinking and choices.  I’ve said to many, do you not think your kid knows your intoxicated, upset, withdrawing, etc…

One way I explain this is that kids catch our emotional structures,   They not only see the end result our inner workings,  they experience the construction of the emotion within  us.  Those constructs lodge in their inner mind so that when they are in a similar  situation they not act like us but experience what we expedience.