“Begin with the end in mind” (Stephen Covey).   All things work best with a beginning, middle, and end.  It’s usually the end we remember the most.  You know it by the silence, yelling, anger, and frustration.  Unresolved issues typically progress into something bigger than a moment.  Frustration leads to  isolation which then may lead to anger and resentment.    Anger and resentment lead to life decisions and create blind spots.  Blind spots in our thinking cause  bad choices and/or lost opportunities.

The questions we should ask ourselves are:   Where will this end up, what is really important?  Will I care about this in two weeks?   Research says that the finish is what physically rewires and develops the brain.  (See Research Page coming soon).

These questions are for practical purposes to keep it simple.  Listen to your gut sense.    You know and sense when something’s not complete or right.   Sometimes it’s wise just to let it go and drop it.   We always do better when we can have closure.   I spend a lot of time consulting people how to bring closure for events in their life.

Closure can be verbal and or non-verbal.   It’s as a simple as a high five, “are we ok now?”, ”love you”,  “give me a hug”   “You’re more important to me than this issue.”  These are the messages you are sending one way or another.   It’s also training yourself and your child how to do closure as a way of life.  “In my family we don’t leave things unfinished”.

If you don’t know what to do in the beginning and middle, at least try to have an ending that shows love and care.  Make it part of your family identity:  Love never fails!  (ICorinthians 13).