What is a tantrum? No I don’t mean the emotional demands and feelings. What is it at its basics. … It’s noise, loud, obnoxious, dramatic. It’s water, tears, spit and occasionally other messy reactions. It’s movement, ecstatic, impulsive, and erratic. That’s it! Can we handle this? Is this really that big? Why are we […]
This is one of the most powerful tools in life and in parenting. If we use this one everyday, our lives will become much simpler and easier. It will clarify the past, make the right what’s happening now, and guarantee the best for tomorrow. What is reflective listening? It is simply assuring the child that […]
Re Enforcers are the rewards and consequences that go with choices. It’s the fire and carrot theory. Make the right choice and get the carrot.. choose the wrong thing and get …… “Youch!!” It’s important to use the right re enforcer. You and your child should know when consequences are fair or in line, reasonable. […]
This is that moment when everything you have said or done before seems to have never happened. …We’ve been through this… I’ve explained this before…. Didn’t you hear me tell you???… If I have to tell you this one more time. Are ya deaf child? You begin to wonder if you or your child has […]
Keep it simple! The problem most of the time will suggest a solution. For instance, If the problem is a child’s back talk then the solution is communication with respect. If the problem is disobedience then solution is training and discipline. If the problem is irresponsibility, the solution is a responsibility with accountability including consequences. […]
Acting “as if” has the power to make or break the future. When I believe the worst, I act “as if” the worst will happen. I set up the cycle. It’s about breaking patterns. When I do relationship consultation I am usually focusing on the patterns. Parents get into patterns of how they respond or rather react. […]
If I want to be heard then I need to be a listener. I can usually cool the worst hot heads if I can assure them they have been listened to. A child who has the temperament of a “hot head” can learn to manage their anger more easily if they receive a sense of […]
“Begin with the end in mind” (Stephen Covey). All things work best with a beginning, middle, and end. It’s usually the end we remember the most. You know it by the silence, yelling, anger, and frustration. Unresolved issues typically progress into something bigger than a moment. Frustration leads to isolation which then may lead […]
How do you know when your parenting style, beliefs, and or system is too lax? The exasperation of other people around your kids, the looks, others backing off, rationalization of others not liking your kids, anger, making excuses for your kids. Accidents keep happening, people hurt, things broken that should not be broken. You say, […]
I often see parents who see their child as stong willed. There is a distinct difference between the strong will child vs the child who has pushed back authority. From my 30 years experience I believe most children push back authority. How does that look? The parent starts to take action and the child raises […]
If discipline means train….and all training is meant to bring safety, maturity, respect, wisdom, order, ….. then discipline is an issue of the child’s need and or ability. For a starter If a directive is given and the child is unwilling to comply then training/ discipline is in order. If I told my kiddo to sit down then that […]
It’s when you you make your home function. Everyone..everyone.. should contribute.. it’s about the participation not always about how much work everyone every person does. It’s about how teaching ethics and values in the simplelist form. The first of several natural moments is: are Some examples of natural moments are: moments are passing, when […]